When I started this site I had only one goal, to change my life, or rather the current direction of my life. I had no idea what form this would take or exactly what it would entail. I only knew that there was no way I would be happy if I keep going down the path I was on.
As one would expect at this age I know myself. Without a deadline nothing would happen.. So I set a deadline for myself, midnight, 31 December 2019, and set a timer to count down to that date. Even then I had no idea what that deadline was for, only that I would not be doing anything without the urgency of that countdown.
My grandfather firmly believed that if you believe in something enough and have a clear goal, you subconsciously influence your decisions and life toward that end. His believe in this was so strong that he quit his job and started a new business venture…breeding earthworms..and he was so successful that he put two children through University and paid off his mortgage. With this in mind I realised that without a goal there would be nothing to believe in. So I just had to decide what this goal would be. Should be easy right? Turns out it is incredibly difficult.
So I disappeared for a while. I took time to read, journal and go on a journey of self discovery to find that inner dreamer again. To find that version of me that had such bright ideas and visions for the future, who believed that there is a happy and successful life waiting in the future. It is such a simple concept, and yet it turned out to be an incredibly difficult task in the end. That person was buried so deep under bills, stress, deadlines, regrets and disappointment that it took months to dig myself out and really understand what it is that I want. Even when I started understanding my own wants again I still had to figure out what the next step is. The whole process took more than 18 months but eventually I reached a point where I was ready.
So I quit my job
Tomorrow is the last day.
I am terrified.
And incredibly excited.