The ones that made the difference – Part 2

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“Some day you will arrive”

 

Isn’t that what we are all telling ourselves every day?

 

This notion that I just need to plan and work hard now, this is only temporary and someday this will all change and I will finally live the life I always imagined. That line certainly caught my attention and I clicked on it assuming it would be another inspirational piece. It was, just not in the way I expected.

This is the second article that really hit me hard and made me realise it is time for a change. (You can read about the other one here)

 

Here it is, you can read the original post here

“Some day you will arrive

The thing you’ve fought for, slaved for, torn off limbs for… you’ll finally get it.

Then? Then the ecstasy will wash all over you.

That’s how it works, right?

It’s the myth of fell-swoop happiness.

The lie that has you back-loading your life to the point of collapse… pinning it all on this desperate hope that as long you put your time horizons far enough out, somehow, someday, everything will finally come together.

THEN you’ll feel alive again.

THEN you’ll wake up without that fear in your belly.

THEN you’ll get your body back.

THEN you’ll spend that “quality time” with the kids.

Two things:

1) Someday never comes.

There is no grand alignment.

There is no parting of the clouds.

If there are angels, they do not sing.

These goals… when you achieve them, there will be a momentary surge of satisfaction. A sigh.

And then, faster than you can imagine, you will re-calibrate. You will pick your next mountain.

It’s what you do.

Which means

2) You must find happiness HERE, NOW.

Happiness is not some far off reward at the top of the mountain.

It’s the oxygen you must breathe to get there in the first place.

Your life is littered with past ways of living that made you happy:

That meal you used to cook for your wife.

The laps you used to swim at the pool each morning.

The literary fiction you used to read.

The home-brew beer you used to make.

The evenings you used to spend laying on the hood of your truck with the headphones on.

These aren’t distractions.

They aren’t temptresses sent to keep you from the mountain.

They are ways of being happy: free jewels your life has given you.

You are a thoroughbred race horse… and yet here you are, eating moldy straw in the rain.

You are a king, meant to live on joy, love, and fire, not bleeding yourself out in infinite loops of delayed gratification.

Happiness isn’t some far-off, one-time, “now’s your chance” wager.

It’s not something you “hope” for.

It’s something your build into your life one taste, one pause, one “why not” plunge at a time.

It doesn’t matter if you’re in the belly of the snake.

It doesn’t matter if your night’s so dark you can’t even see your hand in front of your face.

You, me, ALL OF US are bound for dust.

So come alive, now, while you can.

Happiness is not a thousand tortured steps away.

It can be yours in a moment.

The choice is always yours.

Source:Read the original post here

 

Finding my happiness now

This certainly hit me hard because it touched on one of my biggest daily inner struggles, spending time with my child.

Yes there are the bigger picture things that this piece hjighlights, the future plans, the time you should set aside for yourself and what you used to love but what really made me pause was when I realised one of my dreams was always that time I would spend with my daughter, the bedtime stories I would read or make up, the swimming and running around outside, the fantasy play, the colouring books we would complete together.

None of that was happening.

I was just too busy and there were always a thousand other little things that needed to be done. Even when I was with her I am was not really there. In my head I was already working on the next task and planning the best way to optimise the time I had.

It had to to stop, it was critical that is stopped because she is growing up so fast and this time I have with her is slipping through my fingers so quickly.

 

I  therefore implemented a number of rules for myself:

  1. From the moment I get home to her going to bed all electronics are set aside and we will do whatever she wants to. I will not feel guilty anymore for dedicating two hours out of my day to my family time.
  2. Bedtime stories will be my responsibility again.
  3. Sundays are for family time, no exceptions.
  4. Just..live in the moment

 

Such simple rules yet so difficult to implement and follow. Life tends to get in the way so often. There are deadlines that just can’t be put aside, some evenings you are so tired you just want to fall asleep on the couch the moment you get home, some Saturdays are just too short to get to all the chores and inevitably it will roll over to  to Sunday.

The trick is to just keep trying, dedicate yourself to it every day. Anything can become easy with enough practise, even the ability to live in the moment.

 

 

 

 

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